Last week, one of my favorite people passed away. My grandmother.
I know that everybody believes that their grandma or grandpa is the greatest, and rightfully so, but I really do believe that my Grandma Jones was beyond amazing and continues to be an inspiration to all of us who walk in her footsteps. And here is a lesson I will never forget - follow promptings to reach out to your grandmother (and anyone else.)
As I mentioned at her service (it was like a mini testimony meeting at a Presbyterian church), I recall driving to and from high school every day and passing by Grandma Jones' house and thinking to myself "why are we not closer?" Certainly geographic distance was not the problem, but the truth is at the time I did not know her and she didn't know me because we never made the time for it.
I always wished that I had the type of relationship with a grandparent that felt broken-in, welcoming and comfortable, but the truth is that sometimes years had passed between even a single interaction, or with nothing more than a Christmas day visit to exchange gifts. In other words, we didn't have the relationship I dreamed of. This reality never sat right with me (promptings from the spirit), and I decided as a teenager it was time to reach out.
So, I began visiting. At first I would stop by awkwardly just to say hi, and then kind of scramble to find things to talk about. Grandma was always gracious and excited to see me; though I didn't understand this at the time, it was always a highlight that I stopped by.
As time passed, the spontaneous visits began to cultivate more love between us and to forge a genuine friendship. I began to get to know more about her life, who she is, and how she really feels about things going on and things in her history. When I was having a hard time, and nobody in my immediate family could understand, I hopped over to Grandma's and she always seemed to have the capacity to not only listen with love, but to shoot right to the center of the truth, and to help me keep things in perspective. She didn't try to do that, she just naturally did. I began to find that my qualities are more than the sum of my parents, but that some of my gifts come directly from her.
I miss her already, but deep down I know that she is in Heavenly Father's arms, and is not too far away. Her integrity, honesty, generosity, capacity to endure trials patiently, continual quest for education and knowledge, fun-loving disposition and perhaps most paramount, her capacity to forgive and love beyond her comfort zone are certainly more present in my mind now then ever before.
This week, at her service, I really learned that it doesn't matter at all what you do for a living or how popular or cool people think you are, your income, or even what trials come up on your journey. What we remembered and what we spoke of at Grandma Jones' funeral were the little moments that built her incredibly strong character, and that she stayed the course of virtue and never wavered, despite trouble or opposition, and that she always gave as much as she could to those who stood in greater need than she, even though she was poor herself for many years.
Today was general conference, and one of our (mine and Brigham's) favorite talks was from Pres. Monson who spoke of temples. In such a parallel thought, I realize that if there is any distance between me and Heavenly Father, it is not a geographic problem. I need to heed those promptings to stop by the Temple and visit in Heavenly Father, in just the same way that I started visiting my grandmother. I am sure my He will appreciate those visits in much the same manner, and so will I. Interesting too that in conference, there seemed to be so much emphasis on taking care of the poor. Grandma was such a good example of this principle, and now it is my privilege to live up to her standard of charity.
I truly hope that she is enjoying her reunion with her sweetheart (grandpa), and I look forward to continually hoping that they both will desire to have an eternal bond so that my family can be together forever.
1 comment:
That was a great tribute to your grandma. What an amazing relationship you two had. It's hard to see our loved ones move on but when they have had such a good, long, full life and touched so many others it is a bit easier. Write down your memories and treasure them. Your kids will appreciate it:)
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