June Answers

This month has been a good one.

Although week I caught a nasty bug from work, which has lingered in my system for an entire week and counting (and may have been caused by unsavory living conditions), there is something strangely calming about being sick that has completely turned my life upside down, in a good way. For a healthy girl, I am not accustomed to the delays that accompany forced bed-rest; i.e., calling in sick to work can be more stressful than actually working under the weather.

However, the plus sides of this situation are beginning to unfold. First, Brigham has proven to be a saint by completely taking care of me. That's nice to know, considering I couldn't even bring myself to wear makeup or dress in cute outfits for him. And, the fact that I have had horrible coughing spells did not deter him in the slightest from holding me or cuddling or kissing me sweetly. He's just more affectionate and sweet than ever! But, that's not the best part.

In the worst stage of my illness, it became apparent to both of us that I needed to find a new home that didn't keep me under the weather. That's not to say good things didn't happen in this house, because amazing, life altering things happened. Namely, by bunking up with an old Hawaii Mission pal/current RS president, I actually was enlightened with totally new information that COMPLETELY dispelled any lingering doubts or insecurities I have had about my untimely mission release due to so-called "health reasons" and I now feel more validated than ever that I served the Lord valiantly from start to finish, despite noted differences. I've been waiting for this revelation for years. Thanks Sharon- and to think, we could have had this conversation years ago!

But, back to the housing situation, as Brigham and I considered my options together, we figured I may as well just move in with Della and Bernie (Brig's mom and sister)...who live in Whittier, only 10 minutes down the freeway. Bernie, (a.k.a., Roberta, Auburn, Bertie) kicked Brigham out of the house earlier this year to overtake his bedroom, and it's still a sensitive spot. Della is still recovering from a stroke and a broken heart. I thought it would be nice for them to have Brigham around more before we take off to Boston, but really, it's turned out to be nice for me. Since I've been sick, and off work, I get to spend my days in the massage chair, spa, sauna, laying out by the pool, in front of the TV on a nice leather couch or bed, and getting treated to dinner and lunch. Best of all, I am getting to know the people who raised my love, and all I can see are good, dynamic, interesting people making the best of life. And, if there is one common familiar thread through it all, it is that Brigham is really loved.

Sometimes I get flashes of fear that this all can't be true. This is all just too good and normal and different than what life has given me in recent years. Last night when I went to bed, I realized that I need to let go of this fear of the bazaar, which equals stress, which equals down-for-the-count illness. Worry about finances, wedding details, my job performance, birth control, Boston transition, engagement stress on relationship, the future, and if Brigham and I are really going to make it are not worthy taxes on my time and energy. Maybe it's the antibiotics, but I really think things are going to be okay now. Better than okay. Blissful Happiness is all I see on the horizon.