Respect, a new concept

For the past several months I have been trying to find an appropriate definition for the word respect. In this day in age, it seems to embody a limited concept, or that we talk about the word a lot but we still don't get how to apply it. In Webster's dictionary, the word respect has 3 definitions: (1) To hold in esteem, (2) To relate or refer to a particular detail, (3) Reference. In my opinion, these definitions are totally inadequate in describing the magnitude and importance of the word in real life. For starters, it says nothing of how one can acquire such an esteem to be held apart.

The Incredibles - Violet

The simplist way to demonstrate or give justice to my idea of what respect means to a woman or girl is to talk about Violet, of The Incredibles.

Violet "Vi" Parr is a fictional character from the movie The Incredibles. Violet has black hair. She is 4'6 (1.37160 m) in height and weighs 90 pounds (41 kilograms), her age is around 13 or 14, which is proven when she is first seen in the movie waiting to be picked-up by her mother outside "Western View Junior High." Her superpowers include invisibility and creating a spherical forcefield around herself, powers similar to those used by the Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four.

"Like many teen girls, Violet doesn't like being different from her peers and especially doesn't want to be noticed. But when she learns she's a force to be reckoned with, Violet pulls back her hair and allows her true self to shine." - Official Pixar Website

Interesting that as a girl she would want to disappear all the time. Also interesting, is the direct correlation between her ability to create an impenetrable shield of space around her with her apparent growth of self confidence and esteem.

Thus, "To hold in esteem" is not an end in itself, but rather a process of creating real, vibrant space around a person's self or a decision, to then ultimately produce esteem, which really equals respect. When Violet discovered that she doesn't have to be invisible to protect herself, but that she had the incredible power to create an invisible force around her that people respect, she started to enjoy her life a lot more.

As I was waking up this morning, I realized that the feeling of respect is the real or perceived space between what belongs to you and what belongs to another person. For Violet, it was everything inside her sphere (which ultimately included her family also).

Let's face it, if we don't respect somebodies stuff, life, etc. we'll manhandle it and care nothing for the consequences. There are things that belong to other people that will never belong to us, such as thoughts, agency, physical body, desires, etc. We will never be held accountable by God for anyone else's choices, we will only be held accountable for our own. If one is married, a spouse belongs to you and nobody else...so the extent to which your marriage is respected is the extent to which nobody else carelessly touches it with their interests, desires, actions, behaviors, gossip, etc. I think judgment is another thing that belongs to each of us and not anyone else; in other words, we have the right to influence others the best we can, but ultimately, the choice and decision on any particular action is the individual person's alone. The only truly accountable and respectful thing to do then is to pull back and allow the individual to experience the true consequences or blessings that result from living his/her life.

I learned in a primary song last night that our purpose in life is "to live and to learn in families." Interesting that our purpose is not necessarily to be "right" all of the time, or to force others in our families to be "right" according to our judgment of what they should be. I say, live and let live. BE INCREDIBLE!!